Leave of Absence but Not a Leave of Stories

I know I know.  Who goes and starts a new blog and then drops off the face of the earth even with such classy LDS cliches to talk about?  Well I'm the kinda person who does such things.  So I say get over it and deal for you have some things to read that are more important.

In the last semi month I have been in and out of town on the weekends for work and then with the two weekends of conferences, General Conference and the Stake Conference I have had to really search out things to post on.  

One of the weekends I was away on a workcation I attended a ward with a friend I was staying with.  Now this ward is a family ward and most of the time when I think of family ward I think of screaming devil children (yeah I'm obviously not cut out for children raising) drooling all over.  I was pleasantly surprised this was not the case in her ward.  Granted there was some noise but overall it silence.

But let's look at the current ward I and the other ones several friends attend.

In my ward sometimes the sacrament portion is LOUDER than the family ward.  I have seen my fair share of coloring books grace the presence of the "college age" ward members laps.  During the last fast and testimony meeting before General Conference I was granted the whiff of peanut butter.  Not once but twice.  First off how old are we?  Also do you not remember what you do when you fast?  And peanut butter is nasty and totally gives you away maybe next time you bring Runts or fruit snacks, just a suggestion.

While hearing stories from a friend who resides in a different ward I was told of the coloring book incident.  Two girls sitting in front of her busted out crayons and coloring books right there in the middle of relief society.  Again, how old are you?  Doodling on your note-pad is more acceptable.  I would say though if you brought an Etch A Sketch and drew a detailed portrait of one of the current 12 Apostles I will pay no mind and not say a word.

I think if anything this week we have learned that we need to watch our ages and what we are doing in church.  Plus if you want to have a date with me then give up the peanut butter.  It stinks like poo and I won't be touching hands or other things that graced a peanut butter object.

May I See Your ID Please?

Hope y’all have been having a great week.

This Sunday was not so eventful in church.  Granted I only made it 1 full hour before I had to get up and leave due to my sporting activities on Saturday.  I was fit to be tied with soreness and them darn hard plastic chairs were tearing me up. 

Although while I was there I managed to think about dating.  I mean what more is a single LDS member to do when surrounded by fellow single people?  The catcher is the age issue for me.  Granted just as Aaliyah once sang, “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number.”  But I don’t think she was meaning I become a full fledged creep!  I know one like that and he always has this goofy grin on his face when he walks into a room of “college age ward” members as if he just won the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right.  (Them people always look awkward.)  

A good portion, if not most, of this ward just graduated high school, Laurels, and Priest Quorum.  And here I was thinking that checking ID’s only had to be done when I tended bar.  Man was I wrong!  I now have to go from carding for booze to carding for wooing rights. I almost think I need to create a weekly line up to ask for ID’s that way I know when it’s safe to date a person, or shall I say at least take on a “first meeting event.”  I am not cut out for jail and I don’t want to be the poster man of a future Lifetime movie.  Although it might get a catchy little title if it did.  I’m thinking it will be called, ‘Holy Prey,’ or ‘Sacred Seduction.’  Yet the more I think about it the less I like the idea.  I’m too pretty for prison.  

I have a few more things to share but at this time I feel the need for bed rest.  

Till either later or next week.